COOKING FAIL

March 26, 2018

Cooking FAIL.

 

In line with the whole #eatlessface challenge, I decided to buy that Deliciously Ella cookbook that so many people have raved about.

 First up, buckwheat gnocchi with pesto. You guys, I have never wasted so much time on cooking something only to have it come out so disgusting.

 

And there was so MUCH disgusting! The portions are MASSIVE, I don't know how this Ella person stays so slim when apparently she cooks enough for 20 people each time.

 

Buckwheat flour is totally gross. The apple sauce that was blended into the gnocchi couldn't mask the taste of the buckwheat. (And this wasn't just any apple sauce - this was apple sauce I flipping well made myself because the stupid recipe said to.)

 

The pesto, while totally fine, couldn't mask the taste of the buckwheat. You know why? Because it didn't have any garlic in it! WHAT KIND OF PESTO DOESN'T HAVE GARLIC IN IT??? Shit kind, that's what. What does Ella have against garlic?! Isn't it a super food?? Why wouldn't you put it in pesto??

 

So I served up my 6-hour gnocchi to the family. They gamely tasted the 'concrete nuggets with green sludge' and then the kids proceeded to spit it out while making vomit noises.

 

It was, without exaggeration, the most unappetising thing I've ever cooked. Aside from that one time I made chick pea fritters - that's a contender.

 

Anyway, I'd bought so much stupid buckwheat flour that I'd also made her berry scones. Despite adding chocolate chips and mounds of raspberries, they still tasted like buckwheat. Even when drowned in melted butter and raspberry jam - BUCKWHEAT.

 (And yes, my desk is a natural catch all for things like a bike pump, colouring pen, and toy car that needs batteries.)

 

I'm grimly working my way through the rest of this cookbook, but absolutely avoiding anything that calls for buckwheat. (The quinoa, lentil bolognese and oat cookies were OK but all definitely require some tweaks to the original recipes to have any kind of flavour whatsoever.)

 

Has anyone else used this cookbook and actually liked it?? Have Ella and I just got off on the wrong foot?

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